Everything changes

"Quand on vit, il n'arrive rien. Les décors changent, les gens entrent et sortent, voilà tout. Il n'y a jamais des commencements. (...) Ça, c'est vivre. Mais quand on raconte la vie, tout change." Jean-Paul Sartre, La Nausée

"During life, nothing happens. The scenery changes, people come in and leave, that's all. There are no beginnings. (...) That's life. But when life is told, everything changes." Jean-Paul Sartre, Disgust

Even though the above quote is taken from a gloomy, depressive book written by the near-nihilist Sartre, I recognised it as something I experience myself often aswell. The whole thing of going to Japan is a nice example. I've been planning and thinking about it the past year and all the time it seemed like something magnificent - when I told myself: "I'm going to Japan", I felt like I my life would suddenly change as soon as I would get there. But now that it's getting closer and closer (in a few hours I'll go to the airport), I realize no sudden disruption will appear. Logically, I'll go to the airport, get into the airplane, arrive in Tokyo, get to my hotel and there I'll be: nothing sudden or unexpected. In the same way, things often seem nicer beforehand or afterwards than when you're actually expriencing them. At that moment, it all seems completely normal.
However, I'm still curious what it will be like to really go there, to get to Tokyo knowing that I'll stay there for one year. And after all: life is what you make it, and I'm definitely going to make the most out of it. I guess zen-teachings about focussing on the present try to deal with this past-present-future problem by just forgetting about the past and the future. There's nothing more important then the present and that's all you have. Looking at it in that way makes my time behind this computer now just as (or even more) important as my future in Japan. Well, that future will naturally become present very soon, and I can't wait for that moment. Finally, finally I'll go there and see for myself how my life will change. I can't wait to get into that plane.